My Birthday Season . . . I’m still 70

Received this birthday “reminder” from my friend Sharon, who, yes even after receiving this, I still call my friend.

Questions and Answers from CARP Forum
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?	A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?	A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is that true? Where can it be found?	A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt…”
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?	A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?	A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?	A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet parking?	A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?	A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?	A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?	A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?	A: “Gosh, I remember these!”