Frankly Freddie – Therapeutic Advice

Dear Miss Ruby, Canine Dog Therapist,

As an experienced CDT here’s some basic guidelines for your new career.

Miss Ruby Maer, CDT

1. Always have kleenex ready.  It’s tax-deductible.
2. Do not take insurance.  Make sure that your clients understand you take only “out-of-pocket” doggie-cookies, no deferred insurance payment.  Insurance takes too long to reimburse and will discount the amount of cookies you are entitled to.
3. When your clients are angry or unduly upset get under a table until the storm blows over.  In extreme cases you might have to jump on your human-being’s lap to protect her because she doesn’t have enough instinct to duck ‘n cover.
4. Show, don’t tell.  Most therapist spend all their time talking – blah, blah, blah.  After awhile clients just tune them out.  You must demonstrate these time-tested psychotherapeutic techniques to help humans develop healthy behavioral coping skills:

• Shake it off.  Not everything needs examining or even understanding.
• Roll over.  “Turn the other cheek” in human-lingo.
• Play dead when others are threatening, demanding or unreasonable.
• Beg for forgiveness if you’ve done something hurtful.
• Stare to get attention.  Don’t make a fuss as it takes too much energy.
• Sleep a lot in order to think clearly and make healthy choices.
• Play. Don’t take life seriously as that takes MUCH too much energy.

Should you need further guidance send a check payable to Freddie Parker Westerfield and then call me.

Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET

P.S.  I don’t take insurance and no longer take payment in dog-cookies as I prefer to buy my own.

Me, exhausted after trying to teach my HumanBeing to roll over