My Dear Human Beings and other critters,
My human has been too tired to go on walks. All she wants to do is sit around and I’m getting bored keeping her distracted by petting me. She blames Fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue but I’ve long suspected that she just needs a new career that is exciting. I found the perfect cure – FOR EVERYTHING THAT AILS HER .
The CURE
There’s a woman in England who (instead of moping around like my human being) got a pair of feathered fans to do a routine in a bar that was holding a cabaret night.
She said: “It was nerve-wracking but exciting . . . I felt alive. . . . Even though she’s not completely cured, her chronic fatigue only flares up every two or three months – lasting at most for a couple of days. “
She’s got big plans for the future . . . She said: “I have signed up with the alternative model agency Ugly, in London and hope to start appearing in magazines and adverts.” (I didn’t tell my human being about “Ugly” because I’m not sure what kind of magazines and adverts want “ugly” . . . )
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET
My human thinks all this is just a ploy to get her to take me on walks. I told her if she didn’t believe me to read this:
Woman Bedridden With Depression And Fatigue Turns Her Life Around With Burlesque Dancing
CURIOUS to the MAX 
Freddie:
Make sure you post pictures of your human with her feather fan wings!
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Dear Tale Weaver, human-being,
That is a brilliant idea to post pictures of my human-being. It is sure to go viral.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
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Freddie, You are a wonderful companion to find the new outlet for you mom. I am so hoping the ad gets responses & you will share next blog she has picked up the pace & dancing. Keep up your sweet caring for your mom & have lots of chocolate treats stocked up. When I dance for my mom she gives me my favorite treats. 😉 Gidgett.
Sent from my iPhone Linda
>
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Dear Gidgett, canine dog owner of LBAYME, human-being,
Your human-being needs more training. You shouldn’t have to dance for treats Work with her a bit everyday until she learns to give you treats just for looking adorable.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
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Well my dear Freddie, I think if your human wears feathers you should have a costume also. You could be part of the act! What do you think??
xoxo Buster says hello!
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Dear Rosemary Lee Human-being and Buster Canine Dog,
I think I am not part of the act. I’m her director.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
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Where’s the Burlesque Bar around here? Shari and I will be there (I hope you don’t mind me volunteering you, Shari!)
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Dear Jacqui Murray, Human-Being
The only bars you should be frequenting, at your age, are called StarBUCKS . . .
Protectively yours,
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
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Oh, oh, I’ve got it now: I’ll wear my feathered leash, and, otherwise nude, will run with you,Freddie, and Jacqui to StarBUCKS where the sight of my derierre and frontierre and boobierre will frighten all the other customers away, and we can finally get a table! Freddie and I get some much needed exercise, we all get coffee, and we’ll die laughing, which as you know, is good for our health – laughing, that is. Win win! Oh, Freddie, you are a genius. Judy is cured at last.
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Dear Sharon B-P, human-being,
By Freddie, I think SHE’S GOT IT!
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET
P.S. You, too, are very perceptive recognizing my geniosity. Some human-beings never “get it”.
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Did you ask Judy if she feels better now?
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Dear Shari B-P human-being,
She’s still moping around. I’m trying to be patient with her and, as you know, find cures.
Freddie P-W, CDT RET
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Take that, Gloria Steinem! Freddie, you’re a genius.
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Dear Chuck, human-being,
You are a very perceptive human-being recognizing my geniosity.
Intellectually yours,
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
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Shall I accompany you to the feather store? Freddie can come too – that way he can get some exercise.
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Dear Shari B-P Human-being,
You KNOW where’s there a feather store!!!!! I’ll get the leash.
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A leash? Por moi? I am so flattered! How shall I wear it? With feathers or without? Ooh la la!
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Dear Sharon B-P, Human-being,
Wear it like I do – nude.
Fashionably yours,
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
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Be prepared to run – far away – from a terrifying visual blight.
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Are you sure you are not allergic to feather?
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Dear Jan Book Human-being,
I am only allergic to human dander but fortunately for my human-being I have learned to shake it off so she can sit on the furniture and sleep on my bed.
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT, RET
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