T’was the Day After Christmas Eve Pome
It’s true so they say that on Christmas day
old St Nick is always sick
from sugar, carbs, inhaling soot
and lunging sacks of children’s loot
Santa has to unbuckle his belt
to make room for cookies, and chocolate gelt
Popping antacids with each milk drink
he’s lactose intolerant, that’s why the wink
Up all night,
by mornings light he’s a fright
The chubby ole fellow, no longer mellow
Back’s in spasm, eyes are red
Climbing to chimney tops, legs like lead
When home he goes, the ho ho hoes
have turned to moans
the silent night filled with grunts and groans
No longer just plump he’s a fat grump
The reindeer too have lost their cheer
for all things festive in the New Year
His packed on pounds during the rounds
create huge drag for even a stag
They huff, puff and wheeze
looking for a stiff breeze
to help carry Santa over roof tops and trees
All the way back the reindeer pray
he’ll loose 50 pounds before next Christmas day
Cuz Rudolph et. al are running out of gas
hauling Santa’s growing ass
* * *
Merry Christmas to all who indulge and bulge!
from judy and Freddie Parker Westerfield
Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT RET
CURIOUS to the MAX 
Goodness, I feel sorry for the poor man in red, his weary reindeer and sled
Don’t blame me cuz I’ve never participated in dragging that man from his bed
The worst you can say is I’ve not enough candles and therefore can’t light
All my eight menorahs, yes, count ’em, eight Hanukkiah for eight days of light
Tell Santa to give up the late ride and eat chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil
Safer to spin driedles, tell stories of brave Maccabees and the miracle of oil
And he’ll feel much better when he rises well rested at the end of this year
Not having delivered gifts heavier than a wish for peace and good cheer
Happy, Merry, Joyous Celebrations to you and yours, Judy.
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Poor Santa. Poor reindeer. Happy Christmas to you!
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Leggy P.
Alas, It is a sorry plight Santa and Co are doomed to repeat year after year. Merry Christmas to you too!
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I actually feel it’s cruel against animals to have those poor reindeer pulling the sledge.
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Bjorn,
Perhaps you could start a chapter of SPCR – Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Reindeer? I’ll join.
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