Sneek a Peek into my journal & my HeART of Chronic Conditions (including life)

The best I can describe my “condition” is feeling like a sandy beach being worn away by unrelenting waves and occasional pounding storms.

Fibromyalgia/Chronic fatigue is said to not be life threatening only life altering,  Flares come and go, exhaustion is ever present.  Describing the pain is difficult but sharp pressure anywhere on my body hurts. I’m just reporting, not complaining, (although I’ve been known to moan & groan) .

A WHOLE HOLE, judy’s visual journal

I was blessed in my first forty plus years with relatively good health.  In 1995 that changed for me with the diagnosis of fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue.  I admit it’s been a struggle trying to ignore, over-ride or giving in to the daily fatigue, pain and various other “irritants”.  The older I get the harder it’s been.  

In public I look fine and only those who intimately know me would know if I were feeling exhausted, in pain or depressed.  When I’m feeling particularly bad no one knows as I shelter in place – stay home and lick my wounds.  Any contact, even a phone call, can feel overwhelming.  Weirdly, having to isolate at home during the pandemic has been a relief.

Black-eyed Anger, collage by judy

CURIOUStotheMAX blog has been my in-home companion:  A way to connect to the world and my incredibly understanding friends while expending minimal energy;  posts that remind me to eat better, be grateful, and most of all Peggy and her delightful drawings that make me smile.  

My Baha’i faith, above all, is what sustain me.   Even on my worst days my question is never “Why me?”.  I ask God for guidance, the wisdom to understand that guidance and the where-with-all to carry it out . . . one day at a time . . . sometimes one hour at a time.

The Eye of Grace, judy’s visual journal

I learned early on that each of us, in ways large and small, carry physical or emotional pain.  Each of us searches, longs for answers, respite and meaning.

Be generous in prosperity, and thankful in adversity.

Be worthy of the trust of thy neighbor, and look upon him with a bright and friendly face.

Be a treasure to the poor, an admonisher to the rich, an answerer of the cry of the needy, a preserver of the sanctity of thy pledge.”

The Baha’i World Faith)

Check out this way of giving – POUR for POVERTY

This post first appeared on MaxYourMind. Click here to see more 

5 comments on “Sneek a Peek into my journal & my HeART of Chronic Conditions (including life)

  1. Judy, you are an astonishing person – to be so filled with the desire to help others, to be grateful for what you cherish, and to find God’s presence around you even if you don’t understand all the mysteries. Even while in so much unrelenting pain. I thank you for all the help you’ve offered me and feel blessed to know you. Someday, I hope to see you again in person because I always miss you.


    • Shari,
      Thank you for such incredibly affirming comments. You’ll never know how uplifting that is RIGHT NOW (I’ve been flat on my back with hip and back pain – I must have pulled something – for 11 days). You are such a blessing. Sending love, j.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Judy, I know it’s frightening to think about seeking medical care because of the Covid crisis, but maybe this is the moment that you should contact your doctor and maybe get an appointment. To be flattened, literally flattened by such pain for 11 days has got to be excruciating, and maybe there’s more to it than a pulled muscle.


        • Shari,
          Did a virtual consult with my wonderful PT and he sent some exercises yesterday which I’ve started and it’s a bit better. I continually weigh the cost/benefits about hunkering down and seeing a doctor! So far dying from Covid continues to “trump”. But please don’t worry as I would not hesitate to see a doctor or get treatment. (I’m getting a secondary benefit watching my husband “straighten” up the house!).

          Liked by 1 person

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