Dear Humane-Beings,
I am so appalled that 141,084,307+ human-beings have watched and LAUGHED at this. As a Canine-dog who has lived his whole life dependent on human hand-outs I’m disheartened that some human (not humane) – being would put this REALITY up for the entire world to see . . . quite similar to Keeping up with the Kardashians, don’t you think.
Appallingly yours,
Freddie Parker Westerfield
P.S. Thanks Cassie for sending this and alerting me.
We love open prompts
doors are left ajar, gates too
No fencing us in
* * *
This dog owns the streets
Freddie is as Freddie does
Makes territory
Freddie Parker Westerfield
* * *
He’s fuzzy Freddie
pure white as the driven snow
with patches of beige
* * *
We are a matched pair
tails wagging in unison
with neurotic love
Freddie’s “Aunt Susan” sent this picture. She thought it looked like Freddie. It does. However, my heart started racing the minutes I saw it because . . .
. . . The second evening Freddie came to live with us he slipped out of his collar and scooted under the closing garage door before I could blink.
I high-tailed it (pun intended) behind him.
NOW I know what Freddie’s most Excellent Adventure looked like from IN FRONT! Thanks Susan for sending me this picture!
Me, exhausted
To prove I was there
Fortitude and stamina
with a spritz of pee
Dear Human Beings,
I went to a park. I met some very nice Human Beings who petted me. There were some other Canine Dogs there too. I sniffed a lot of them but I didn’t have time to play. I had to concentrate on marking my territory and it was a very big park.
I marked all the way around on the fence. I marked some of the chairs where the Human Beings were sitting. I marked the trees. I marked the bushes. I tried to mark a big Canine Dog that came to see me but he was on the other side of the fence. I marked two people.
It was exhausting.
Yours truly,
Freddie Parker Westerfield, Canine Dog
Dear Human Beings,
My Human Being was going to post this article on reducing pain with magnets. However, FIRST THINGS first.
I took my first shower in my new abode today. The shower part wasn’t much fun. My Human Being offered me a treat while I was in the shower. What was she thinking? No one I know eats IN the shower. I was more than happy to eat the treats after I got out.
I ran around crazy with joy after getting out of there. Then we both sat in sun to dry off. I got dry faster than she did.
This is me after my shower:
Do you eat in the shower? Just wondering . . .
Yours truly,
Freddie Parker Westerfield, Canine Dog
Holding kleenex (tax deductible) for my next client
Dear Human Beings,
My Human Being is making me work. I have to get up at the crack of dawn, around 8 am, barely have time to eat and I’m packed in the car. AND I MEAN PACKED. I sit hooked into this car seat and I can’t even see out of the window.
When we arrive at the office, I take my Human Being for a walk so that she won’t need to go to the bathroom all morning. She needs the exercise too.
Once I’m in the office I have to greet everyone. They never
Going to greet my next client
have treats for me but I greet them anyway. I sit in their lap for a while to make them feel good. Then I go sit on my Human Being’s lap to see them from across the room so I can understand their non-verbal communication, which is very important.
Mentally exhausted
Sometimes it is so boring I can’t stay awake. No one seems to care. When it’s time for them to go I have to usher them out. I want to leave with them but my Human Being always stops me. All she wants me to do is work, work work: Greet, Jump in lap, Observe non-verbal communication, Sleep, Usher out, Greet, Jump in lap, Observe non- verbal communication, Usher out, Greet, Jump in lap, Observe non-verbal communication, Sleep, Usher out . . .
It’s mentally exhausting.
There should be dog-labor laws that prohibit us from being exploited.
Yours truly, Freddie Parker Westerfield, CDT Canine Dog, Therapist
Freddie Parker
My new human is very nice but she doesn’t know how to have a good time. Take last night for example:
We were going for a walk. I wasn’t really in the mood for walking. I slipped out of my collar so I could run.
Now I know why she wanted to walk. She’s not a good runner like me. I stayed 3 houses ahead of her all the way down to the bottom of the hill we live on. I would dash into a yard and watch to see if she was coming and then take off. I hid so she couldn’t find me. It was real fun.
After we had fun she told me that we were not going to go for another walk until she gets a choke collar. I have no idea why she would want to wear a choke collar? It sounds rather barbaric. But there’s no accounting for human taste.
CURIOUS to the MAX 